Nov 30, 2011

sweater~husbands, make-up~none, hair~ messy
Today I felt alive.

The past week I have felt like a shadow of a girl that kind of looks like me.  I looked in the mirror and thought who is that sad unrecognizable person. I was in my own personal hell and felt like I didn't want to breathe one more breath feeling the way I did. I had serious postpartum depression and anxiety.  My sleeplessness triggered a downward spiral that I couldn't control or stop.  I was hoping to keep myself from going over the edge but I had no idea that I had already fallen and was tumbling to the ground... I hit the bottom and didn't know it. Thanks to my sister and some other angels in the form of incredible friends I survived. I feel so blessed and overwhelmed to have come out the other side of this.  I can honestly say I didn't think I would.

(I wrote this on Monday and I am happy to say that each day has gotten better.)

Please feel free to ask me any questions about my PPD and I would be happy to answer.  I am open about my experience so feel to ask me anything.

my angel


  1. Wow, it is so open and honest of you to share this on your blog! PPD is something I'm really nervous about. Even though I don't have kids yet, I've had depression, and I'm afraid it will come back to haunt me after I have a baby. I appreciate you sharing it, though, and the encouragement to go to friends and family for help. Thanks for sharing!


  2. I am so so so happy that you're finally on the other side of this! And I think its so awesome that you're willing to share your experience. More discussions about PPD need to happen. You're going to help people, and I bet you already have. Welcome back!

  3. Amy BenedettoNovember 30, 2011

    Glad you are working through everything.  Not only do you have an amazing family and friends that love you, but you have a network of us out in the blogosphere sending you our love as well.  Keep pushing through and don't give up.  Sending you well wishes, lots of prayers, and plenty of love.

  4. Katherine BecksteadNovember 30, 2011

    love you soph :)

  5. I've been thinking about you a lot these past few weeks.  I'm glad to hear you are feeling hope again.  I wish I was there to help because I KNOW what it's like to be in that situation.  Keep being patient with yourself and the time it takes for you to heal/recover.  Be gentle with you.  Love you!

  6. Susan CatchukNovember 30, 2011

    Although I don't have children, I do know those awful, dark days all too well. Glad to see that you have come out on the other side of it, and have the support of your friends and family! Thanks for sharing.


  7. It is so helpful that you have been so candid about your PPD, you are an inspiration!  I have a very close relative who experiences PPD with each baby and it is a real thing, and completely out of her control.  What has helped her is to basically plan for it, and not expect anything different.  She plans for lots of help after the baby so that she can just lie low for a while.  Just remember that PPD is not a reflection of your abilities as a mother, it is a chemical reaction and something that will pass with time.  I relate it to when I get really sick at the beginning of my pregnancies.  I know it will be hard for a period of time, but slowly and surely things gradually get better.  Totally out of my control!

  8. Ashley of flats to flip flopsDecember 01, 2011

    Glad you are seeing light at the end of the tunnel..keep going!  Thoughts and prayers sent your way!

  9. I struggles with PPD after my daughter was born. Thank you for being candid and open about your struggles. I'm glad that you're feeling better and that you have help.


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