magic chef?

Dec 22, 2011

 well, i did it again...
 crescent rolls anyone?

i found yet another way to destroy food and nearly burn down my house... its a talent really...

i would like to blame it on false advertising...

...but the embarrassing truth is that i thought that i could microwave crescent rolls just as easily as i could bake them in my oven which, as i mentioned, doesnt work... {this is always my downfall, i ALWAYS think i can alter things without consequence}
 i thought six minutes in the microwave should do it.... i mean, its like 12 minutes in the oven so if my prentend calculations are correct that should be the perfect amount of time!

only if you want to burn your house down...

did you know that you can juice a crescent roll if you burn the crap out of it just right?

 turns out, it only takes a minute and a half to nuke a crescent roll... and 5 and a half minutes to do this..

when i noticed the black smoke pouring out of the bottom of the microwave door first i said some bad words... then i flung open the door to let all the toxic fumes pour into my house... then i thought to my self "you idiot, last time you did this the fumes from the coal shaped piece of pizza on the non-microwavable plate nearly knocked you out!"
so i slammed the door shut and unplugged the beast and ran it out the front door...
...where Eva proceded to photograph the embarrassing proof.


i would love to hear some embarrassing stuff that you guys have done... if you leave me a comment or even a link back to a funny post i would love you FOREVER!
{you know how i love company in my embarrassing misery!}


  1. So sorry. At least everyone is safe! During my first pregnancy, on the way to our very first appointment, I met my husband at a shopping center after we both got off from work so we could drive to the doctor together. I hopped out of my car & got in his & he drove to the appointment. Afterwards, when we went to pick up my car, I couldn't find my keys anywhere. They weren't in my purse, they weren't on the floor of his car, we were calling the doctor to see if anyone had found them, when my hubby went to see if I'd locked them in my car. Not only was the car door open, the keys were still in the ignition! I'd left my car unlocked and running for about two hours in the parking lot! Luckily, nothing got stolen & it didn't run out of gas.

  2. Ashley of flats to flip flopsDecember 22, 2011

    I am notorious for burning chocolate in the microwave...I mean, who wants to sit there and stir the chocolate FOREVER on the stove, on LOW until it melts?  NOT ME!!  Patience is a virtue, because let me tell you friend, the smell of burnt chocolate takes about  3 weeks to go away:)

  3. I'm full of embarrassing stories, but here's the story of how I almost burned my house down

  4. {{{crying from laughter}}}  Selina's post and the ones below are priceless!  ~ I am perfect, I have no stories of "fierce diva failure" to share... nope, not me! *runs*

  5. Alison DaughtersDecember 22, 2011

    This should make you feel better about yourself and your cooking prowess:)  It's about the time I pretty much lost my mind over a spider that was living in the wreath on my front door.

  6. hahahahahaaaa!!!!! dying right now!!!! how was it not stolen!? 

  7. Sue WestrellDecember 22, 2011

    Let's just say...I once attempted to make a grilled cheese in the microwave. Put it in for six minutes...there was nothing left but the explosion. Burned cheese and bread EVERYWHERE. Oooh, or there's the time I microwave reheated bacon in a plastic container and the container was split in two by the bacon. Or the time I burnt the heck out of the bottom of a pan trying to make mac and cheese. Or...okay, I'll stop now. I have a million and fifty cooking disaster stories. xD; My parents don't let me cook without supervision anymore. Not that it helps, because I am a disaster in anything kitchen related.

  8. Thanks for sharing...I needed a good laugh this morning!!! 

  9. Mr. Taylor and his LadyDecember 23, 2011

    ha, don't worry. this is what it looks like EVERY time i try and cook. i just stick with the pastas ,)
    xo TJ

  10. My incident involves something that actually was microwaveable, complete with instructions... it was a home waxing kit. I do my own brows and wanted to start using a hot wax because it works better, but I didn't want to invest in a wax heater and a tub of wax that would last me the next 40 years at the time. Well, the instructions were great, easy to follow...was looking forward to using the product. The ONE thing not mentioned in the instructions was. "remove the discreet, METALLIC 'Made In China' sticker located on the bottom of the container".  I put in in, turned it on...sparks flew, tiny flames popped... total cost? Microwave waxing kit + new microwave + regular wax heater + tub-o-wax = about a year's worth of waxing at a salon, plus mani and pedi. So goes making life quicker and easier...

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