Nov 22, 2011

we took these pics  over the summer during the one day we were all together...
Sister Power!!!

i was supposed to be biting Sophies arm in this shot... 

Mitch told us to be "gangsta" 





i have been thinking alot today about sticking together... we have certainly done that throughout our lives as sisters... 
but yesterday.
yesterday i felt helpless.
completely helpless...

like i was too far away to help,
it was a super yucky feeling, and since i am the oldest i have always felt somewhat responsible to get problems solved, to make sure that everyone is ok. 
and Sophie was not ok.

my heart dropped into my stomache
i wasn't there... i could have been but we planned for january and now she needed me and i wasn't there.

i said a prayer,
for guidance...
for that moment of clarity that i desperately needed...
that Sophie desperately needed

and some how, miraculously, a plan was formed and suddenly i was able to help from afar, at least i hope it helped.. 
we came up with a new plan of action,
an intervention rescue plan

and i PRAYthat it worked, or at least that it is working.
i know she will be ok eventually, but it kills me to be so far away, so helpless when she feels so hopeless right now.

i feel super optimistic but i haven't talked to her yet today, i'm kind of on pins and needles

do any of you have experience with PPD? {or in Sophies case its really Post Pardum Anxiety/Insomnia} its a scary thing... i have been through PPD twice but nothing like this. 
how do you help? what do you say to comfort? i feel like this is something that we need to talk about as women, its super common and at the same time can be kept kind of a secret... its like no one wants to admit that they aren't just blissfully happy after bringing this sweet little spirit into the world. i commend Sophie for being so honest about it, not just to me... anyone who asked, she hasn't been faking it for a second... i am super proud of her for that {and many other things..} 

please share your experiences, it always feels better to know that you are not alone...



  1. After my first baby I had some really low days. Lack of sleep mixed in with a crazy emotional roller coster threw me for a spin. I remember feeling alone and tired and just plain sad/helpless. I would have nights when I would just sob uncontrollably (I have never cried like that before or since) and my husband would have no idea what to do or say. That first little while after having the baby I was on painkillers (lortab) and I realized that after it wore off I would hit a major low. I decided that I didn't need the medicine and my husband got rid of it as fast as he could. After that I didn't have as bad of lows. I think I was a little depressed after that but not as bad. The thing that helped me out the most was sleep, showers, and family. I have three sisters and one brother and talking to them helped me a lot. 
     After my second baby I tried a different type of painkiller and I didn't have as hard of a time. I do have a cousin who has a really hard time during the pregnancy and after. She really struggled with PPD and only had two kids because it was so hard. 

  2. Ashley of flats to flip flopsNovember 22, 2011

    The sister bond is an amazing thing and how lucky is Sophie to have you guys!  PPD is a really real thing.  Sending prayers Sophie's way!

  3. best thing that helped with me was just to know someone was thinking about ME, not just my baby. Regular checking in on me with no agenda, even just a message to say "I care about you." no questions about the baby, nothing. That and baths (aka time for myself). Good luck. And as for the anxiety, I understand completely with that... I've always struggled with that... Some days I've just cried and cried from frustration and fear. not a lot you can do from afar, besides being there for her and lots of phone calls (when shes not busy with the baby). i went thru a lot of stress and anxiety right after my baby was born due to family issues, and then i got horrible mastitis (fever bumped around 102-105 for a week) and i got thru it with the help of my husband of course, but mainly, i would breastfeed my baby alot, and stare into his eyes, and everytime the pain was unbearable, i would hug him closer and repeat "your doing so good" and "i love you" and "itll be ok" and i said it enough, even though i didnt believe it myself, it made me feel less hopeless...

  4. MARIA_CRAFLOORSNovember 22, 2011

    getting out of the house helped me a whole lot, and havin some company over was also great.
    try to get as much rest as you can, there might be a time when you can't doing all on your own, talk to your doctor and dont  be so hard on your self.  IT WILL BE OK, SUNSHINE IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER..  I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU. MARIA

  5. First let me thank you for
    your comment in my blog. It made my day to see you in my followers
    because I love your blog so much. You might have seen that I have
    featured you already in one of my posts
    and all my readers loved your idea:)About your sister all I
    can say is that she is lucky to have all of you helping her even from
    afar. I've been through similar things (I have 2 kids) and what
    helped me a lot was when they "forced" me to get some
    proper rest and food because exhaustion and lack of sleep contribute
    a lot to breakdowns.

  6. oh my gosh Maddie YOUR blog is awesome!  i discovered it yesterday because you linked back to us and we were getting all this traffic coming from your site... i pinned that sweatshirt refashion onto pinterest and added you to our stylish reads down at the bottom of the page! {thats how much i seriously love it!} 
    you are totally right about "forcing" Sophie to get rest... thats pretty much what i did! i will let her tell the story when she is up to it but she was seriously scaring me and i knew something needed to happen... she hadn't slept in 2 weeks! 

  7. I found your blog through a friend a little while ago and just wanted to say first off that I love it! Thanks for all the crafty tips. Second, I wanted to comment on the PPD. I had it with my daughter and it really helped just to know people were thinking of me and cared about me even when I felt so crazy and unlike myself. I know just being there for your sister is probably a huge help to her. I will pray for her as well. I know that's not easy for either of you.

  8. 1 Funky WomanNovember 28, 2011

    I too went through that and knowing that family was behind me especially my best friend which is my sister helped so much.  Right now my sister is going through it.  She had a baby several weeks ago and also has a 2 year old so things are hard for her.  I hate that I can't be there for her because she is in CA and I am in Iowa.  She knows I am here for her and I call her everyday and IChat with here.  
    Your sister needs to know that it won't be forever and she will get through it.  Just be a shoulder for her and sometimes just listening and not reacting or commenting is what they need!


  9. Being thrown into Motherhood, no matter how much you want it - is tough.  So glad your sister has you for support!!  Many thoughts to her!

  10. You are Great!!


  11. nomoresweatpantsFebruary 01, 2012

    I think it is so awesome of you all to address the subject of PPD.  I had it really bad after birth of my babies.  Like Sophie, I had anxiety day in and day out.  It was a really hard time and she is so lucky to have family and friends to help her out.  I don't know if you are into herbal remedies but I took tinctures of Motherwort and one called Chill Out by Alpine Meadow Botanicals and they helped a lot.  I still continue to take the Chill out because even though the babies are now 3 &5, I still have my anxious moments.  


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